be awake! site of seeker for seekers

emigrant’s feelings

Since five months I’m a part of huge emigrant’s circle. Nothing to be proud of. Nothing to be angry at. I came from ugly, sad and dirty city of Lodz (Poland) to beautiful, active and clean Amsterdam. Exciting. Lately something strange happend. I realized, some part of my heart felt empty. Some part of my stomach felt empty too. Some part of my brain felt lonely.

When the first time I’ve visited ‘Poolse Winkel’ (Polish shop) in Amsterdam, I could’t help myself not to buy all these Polish products – so typical for my country, unable to get here (tasty Polish sausage, pierogis)…

Living in The Netherlands, doesn’t mean that you have to speak Dutch. And I don’t. English is totaly enough. Unfortunately, it means that walking around the city feels like being a tourist, “the Other”, stranger. My mind is working like a radar. It always tries to find some well know sounds among unknown language stream. How strange it is, when suddenly it gets Polish language! It’s like putting your feet into a shoe made especially for you. How these other Polish poeple got here? What’s their story?

Finaly, yesterday evening my fiance and I did a boring “you tube research”. You know – a kind of when you’re not sure what to do with the last hours of  your day. We found a very amateurish film about Lodz, called “Two faces of Lodz”. We pressed “Play” and the set of the ugliest Lodz’s photos began. So dirty, so forgotten by God, poor, poor city… And we started laugh hard. All the worst shots we saw there, poor drank people on the streets, fulfilled trams… I know these things so well, that it felt like (oh, my God) home.

Damn, you can realy feel, you are “a child of the world” but still, you came from somewhere and that place (beautiful or not) is a part of you.

Two faces of Lodz

(You can also find many my photos of Lodz on my blog)


4 responses

  1. Well, life came from The Source. So everyone of us came from the same Source. Not from a city, a village etc. You probably have never feel like “a child of the world” 🙂 Be “a child of the world” means be aware of connection between you and your Source. And yes, this means also the place of your childhood is a part of you (as well as every other place on earth).

    March 14, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    • I totaly get it. No matter where you are, no matter if you’re alone or with your friends, you should be happy and feel like home. But seriously, it’s not easy to find this kind of person – lucky one! 🙂

      March 14, 2012 at 6:16 pm

  2. Polish people are everywhere, why not also in Amsterdam? It is many times poverty that chases them away from Poland. However, I have seen a hearty friendliness in Poland and other Slavic countries that I miss in the Western, “clean” ones. You can’t have it all~

    July 5, 2012 at 11:27 pm

  3. There is truth and beauty even in the devastation. Bless your bravery and keep capturing the art that is all around you. Remember things are never as they appear either…there is a God, He is good, and in control, and we are not. When we see a need,all we can do is represent LOVE and find our part to play in this world. Praying for your homeland and where ever your journey takes you!

    July 8, 2012 at 8:25 am

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